No fancy introduction, here’s what happened.
The shows starts with Tasha and Mel at a bar and Mel is texting away and Mel orders a water with lemon cause she’s trying to get pregnant. Melanie is getting cornier and cornier. Not because she’s drinking water…but everything she says is corny.
Leaving Tasha alone with her drink, a man approaches her and uses a pick up line that could have been taken the wrong way thus resulting in a drink in face. He said and quote, “I’m glad your girl left….if I get you drunk and we go do something silly, no one has to know…” I mean, that’s not disrespectful at all. Just me? Ok
Anway, Tasha and dude half-streak through the streets because it’s one his bucket list…I thought that applied to a dying old guy accompanied by a equally old dying guy.
One commercial break later and it turns out he is a dying guy. He admits that he has lung cancer as he smokes the largest cigar in the world.
He gives Tasha this long epiphanical (cause that’s a word) theory about life and dying.
Is someone other than this adventurous stranger gonna die or something?
Melanie just came in from a jog all musty and stuff and wants to make a baby with Derwin cause she’s ovulating with a rapid heart rate. Cute
He says no cause he has to go to practice.
Malik doesn’t want to go to practice and isn’t going to leave the house until his model girlfriend calls. Derwin brings news that the owner is trying to bring in someone to replace him.
Let me remind you that the owner is the husband of Megan Goode. The woman Malik was sleeping with. Yeah that guy.
Mel is going crazy over this baby making thing. She should ask Jenae (Derwin’s baby momma) what method she used to get pregnant.
Tasha is now giving Mel epiphanical (cause that’s still a word) theoretical life quotes.
Turns out dying boy’s name is Bo.
Tasha is falling for a half-dead guy. Great.
Tasha is going surfin’. It’s on her bucket list. So is spending the night with Keith Sweat.
Fast forward to the meeting with team owner (Megan’s husband) and Malik with Derwin in tow.
The team owner busts out with the whole (Do you know what it’s like to get cheated on speech) with Derwin.
The team owner decides to still bring in younger football talent to take Malik’s space, still keep him on the team, and ride the bench. Which is far worse than getting traded.
Malik slept with the team owner’s wife, yet he blames Derwin for the meeting not going so well.
Bo aka dying boy, blinds fold Tasha and reveals a candle lit dinner with…dum dum dum Keith Sweat.
I just thought it would be funny if the dying boy just all of a sudden died on camera and croaked over Tasha’s lap. hehehehehe
For a terminal man, he looks healthy to me.
This is news: One commercial break later, Melanie want’s a baby!
Mel sleeps on the floor with a legs propped up so little derwins can find themselves to little melanies. The journey supposedly takes 15 minutes.
I’m guessing the dying dude died during the last commercial break cause he left T-mack a note that apologized for not being able to make it to India. (A trip on her bucket list).
And then Malik cries on the phone.
What’s on your bucket list? Here’s mine:
1. Become the next Brit Brat it season 5
2. Weighing in at 120lbs, I want to appear on MTV’s I Used to Be Fat and see if I can slim down to a attractive 65lbs
3. Meet Gayle King and ask her how does it feel to be Oprah’s flunky
4. Become a Scientology Church member and ask them if I can be a deacon.
5. Become Kate Goslin’s best friend.
6. Take a maternity test to see if I’m the mother of someone else’s child.
7. Slap Barbara Walters (I just want to see how quick she bounces back)
8. Rewind time and take Angela’s place in What’s Love Got To Do With It
9. Date a hobbit
10. Get Melanie pregnant and tell Kim Kardashian that she’s no longer sexy…she’s starting to just look like her mom now.
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P.S. I believe the Chris Brown situation was all a set up. You tellin me GMA has noooo camera’s in the green room? If the window had not of been “massively shattered in rage” his face wouldn’t been on The View, E! News, and every major network show. Good move Chris’s people, good move. Now I know his album is coming out. All thanks to a GMA moment that I didn’t even see.