First I would like to say this… Note to Bieber fans: Get over your freakin selves! Bieber doesn’t even like himself as much as you freaks do. You didn’t even know how to spell Esperanza Spalding until a few days ago. You flakey little twelve year olds don’t even have the muscles to hold a bass guitar let alone kill anyone. Most of you are gonna twitter yourselves to death over a boy who doesn’t even know you and end up having Carpel Tunnel syndrom in both of your wrists. And all ten of your fingers (12 if you were born with those extra pinkies) are gonna turn red and fall off.
Now back to what happened on this episode of the game.
The Pakistanian version of Celebrity Rehab’s Dr. Drew, leads the discussion with rehabbers living with Malik. Malik of course is a-hole-ish and his housemates don’t like him.
In commercials I am enjoying the trending topics on twitter. Apparently twitter users all over the world tonight are experts on what’s #NotSexy and #ThatsSexy
Rick “Dam” Fox is texting Mack. Once you go Mack, you never go back.
Melanie used the word canoodling.
Guess who’s coming to dinner? Rick Fox & Tasha Mack have a date set later for the night.
And guess who crashed the sunbeams meeting with her entire reality show crew. Kelly Pitts.
I didn’t now rich people still carpooled. Melanie and the sunbeams planned to carpool to the Saber’s next game.
Kelly won’t leave the meeting. She makes herself cozy.
Malik apologizes for monopolizing the conversation to Jena. Another girl in rehab. He tells her that he doesn’t have a problem and that he’s Tiger Woods-ing it for his image. I will hereby refer to Malik as Tiger for the rest of this blog entry.
The Pakistanian Dr. Drew confronts Tiger about not taking the process seriously.
Tiger leaves rehab.
Halfway through and this episode is rather dry.
Mr. 106&Park knows how to fix fireplaces.
Melanie wants Kelly to join the other Sunbeamers on their girl’s nightt out, which looks rather boring. The other Sunbeams don’t want her to come but Kelly shows up anyway and Mel let’s her in anyway.
Tiger is addicted to pills.
Derwin Davis shows up at the same outing as Tiger and Tiger is upset that he wasn’t at his press conference a couple of episodes ago.
Tiger wants to beat everybody up and he is causing a scene as usual. Derwin knocks Tiger out I guess. I’m not sure. That whole “fighting” scene was a little awkward and in-definitive.
Tasha Mack get’s all dolled up for her date and lies to young dude and tells him that she’s going out with the girls.
Later at dinner she looks like she finna get stood up and then Mr. 106&Park shows up instead.
It just so happened that Rick Fox called the house and told him that he wasn’t showing up. Tasha Mack is caught up and Mr. 106&Park calls Tasha Mack out for getting all “Carrie Bradshawed” up. If you’re a man and you’re reading this and you don’t know who Carrie Bradshaw is. Good for you. You shouldn’t.
Ok so now this was disturbing. No young black man should ever use a Sexy in the City reference. EVER.
Young dude breaks up with Tasha Mack. I’m finding out for the first time that his last name is actually “Young” Real creative writers, real creative.
All the sunbeams leave the “party” because Kelly is there and Melanie tells Kelly she is the reason.
The way they look directly nto the reality show’s camera is really getting on my nerves.
Meanwhile, Tiger is passed out in the bathroom with Jason and Ding Dong. Tiger wakes up out of no where and attacks Derwin from behind. Cotton-picking mind. Ding Dong told Tiger that he has lost his Cotton-Pickin mind.
First Melanie says canoodling and Derwin says Cotton-Picking mind. Aw geez, this corny couple.
Anywho, when Derwin tells Tiger it’s time to go back to rehab he makes a beeline for the bathroom stall that was 3 steps away but he ran like it was a 100 meter dash. It was quite comical.
In an emotional confrontation with a dramatic song in the background, they drop Tiger back off at rehab.
So there you have it, the recap of an episode where nothing really happened.
I’m going back to watching Teen Mom while I entertain myself with #NotSexy and #ThatsSexy trending topics on twitter.
P.S. Back to the 12 year old Bielibers. If you don’t get your carpooling, Bieber canoodling cotton-pickin minded selves a new hobby, I swear…