Derwin’s bible apparently reads “Thou shalt lieth all the timeth.”
Tonight’s episode of BET’s The Game was called “Men in Crisis” and it should have been titled “Really Derwin, Really?” If you missed tonight’s episode, you missed the most successive lies told in one 30 minute episodic series.
Here’s what happened.
Melanie hates going to church every Sunday because it conflicts with her Sunday brunch because that’s the only day you can eat brunch and is shunning Janae for making Derwin go to those custody hearings that last for hours. Turns out the custody hearings are being held in Janae’s back yard in her pool and the required attire is bikinis and swim trunks.
One commercial break later, Derwin actually has the nerve to show up in the kitchen with a suit pretending that he just came back from the custody hearing. Lie #428
Melanie begs Derwin to talk his baby momma into letting DJ go to Disneyland with them.
Mr. 106&Park is back. Yippie (sarcastic) He complains about eating 5 Star meals every night. He thinks Tasha’s BALLIN’ Status is brash as in “They say I’m loud, brash, and ghetto. They forgot BALLIN’”
They get into an argument over her spending money and he calls her hood rich.
He forgot BALLIN’!!!
Derwin has another “custody hearing” and this time the judge (Janae) requires him to barbeque with she is poolside with a bikini.
Janae doesn’t want the baby to go to Disneyland because The DNA police aka Messy Melanie will be there.
Derwin lies AGAIN and tells Janae that Mel will be at a medical seminar.
Yes, ladies the same Derwin that you wanted to marry three episodes ago for making Melanie go to church is repeatedly breaking one of the ten commandments.
Derwin order a Boomshakalaka from TT’s wing truck.
Apparently ordering a 12 piece instead of a 6 piece is code for Derwin’s cheating. Why I thought chilling poolside with your baby mama half nakey and lying about it was code for cheating.
Tasha just bought a white on white Maserati which I first spelled as Mazarade – Guess who’s not Ballin’. Speaking of…
Tasha Mack has used the word Ballin over ten times and I’m loving it.
Janae and Melanie ends up at the same restaurant.
Melanie walks over to speak unnecessarily, I would have just waved.
SN: Hallmark does make apology cards for swabbing babies
Melanie thanks Janae for allowing DJ to go to Disneyland.
Lie #564 – BOOM
Janae tells Melanie that Derwin hasn’t been called into to any custody hearings.
Lie #846 – BOOM
Melanie calls Janae crazy
Derwin tells Lie #874 – Lie #1005 to Melanie in one sitting back at their house.
Melanie shows Derwin a movie of him entertaining his baby and baby momma by doing the robot in Janae’s pool. He’s busted.
Meanwhile, Tasha serves Mr. 106&Park a meal with “no bells, no whistles, no ballin’”
And just like a 14 year old, Mr. 106&Park is playing video games while his girlfriend made him dinner.
Derwin goes to confront Janae and honestly, I don’t remember the conversation because I was thrown off by the fact that Janae’s cribatorium looks better than Derwin and Melanie’s cribatorium
Clearly BET has revoked it’s “No using the B-word” rule. 3 counts for tonight.
Tasha brings Malik some chicken wings to while he is in rehab and after Malik Wright Overload, last week, it was refreshing to barely seem him in this episode. She tells Malik that she’s in love.
Every single time Melanie was on camera tonight, she’s had a glass of wine in her hand.
Girl Melanie made Veal Mela-something and Derwin asked her did she spit in his food as though that’s the worst thing a diary-of-a-mad-black-wife can do with food. I would have sniffed for rat poison.
Tasha thinks she’s in love with Mr. 106&Park and in the upcoming episode preview I heard Rick Fox’s name and I’m crossing my fingers that he comes back!
In short, Tasha is Ballin’ and Derwin is Lyin’.